As life becomes increasingly hectic with age, it can be challenging to manage everything on our to-do list. To maintain a healthy balance and avoid feeling overwhelmed, it’s crucial to prioritize self-care and set clear boundaries with our workload. One effective strategy is to evaluate what tasks can be realistically accomplished without going overboard, and to let go of activities that may not be worth our time. It’s important to remember that it’s okay to not be able to accomplish everything, and that taking care of ourselves should always be a top priority, even if it means turning down excessive obligations.
Imagine yourself at a buffet, all your favourite food is there, plus some more… You can’t resist – you want it all. So, you start stacking and piling all these delicious items on your plate. While you try to squeeze some more onto the plate – something else is slipping off… Sounds familiar?
Let’s have a closer look at your plate – called life; What is on YOUR plate?
Mortgage Payments, Invoices, Customers, Job security, Children’s School / Kindergarten, Car Loan, House DIY Projects, Partner, Parents of both of you, some Sport, Weekend activities, Friends …?
Having a lot on your plate doesn’t mean you have a full life – it is more likely to overwhelm you and it can cause a lot of stress. Life itself can become overwhelming.
Let’s take a moment and talk about your plate and what you can do about it when it becomes too full.
First
Take inventory – recognising all the things on your plate is the first step – bringing in some awareness that you are pretty busy most of the time. Take some time to do this as sometimes we don’t recognise the important stuff in our lives anymore because they are always around us. You may want to write them down which enables you to see how full your plate really is.
You may want to ask a friend or partner what they have on their plate – to ensure you have found all items on your plate. When you think you found them all – look at your plate. How full is it? Is it still manageable or is it overflowing? What are your thoughts?
Second
Now you are realising that in fact you have too much on your plate. So, what are you doing? Throwing all in the bin? Start over again? That is only in few situations possible. Most of the time we are bound to our word, commitment or obligations likes contracts, mortgages, partners, parents and kids. So back to the full plate – what can you do?
Have a look at the parts on your plate – are they all equally important? Do they have their fair share of your time and attention? Is there an imbalance between parts on your plate and your wishes and wants?
You may want to level things out. Reducing on the one side and increasing on the other side to level the balance – it is still the same full plate… The only solution is, to take something off that plate. This is the hardest moment, you have to choose, which parts need to be reduced? Start with the most pressuring thing – work out what it is that stresses you most. Work out all the things on your plate in an order of pressure. When you have done that, you can start thinking about an action plan for each item.
Secondly, when you have put your items in order, you may see that some items are not for you to be solved. You may need professional help with some items on your plate, for example your mortgage. See if you can speak to your financial advisor, how to ease the load on your plate. Talking about money can be challenging and daunting – prepare yourself with all information needed to enable them to help you.
If your work is too demanding, too many hours, too many projects, you may want to talk to your manager. Prepare yourself for this talk, have information ready, plan ahead. Don’t ambush your manager during the coffee break. Ask for a designated time for you to raise the issue.
If your plate full because of private matters, you may want to talk to a professional to get the help your needs. To help with your parents, your kids or your partner there is a good chance that assistance is available. Check out the local council, school or kindergarten or counsellor for issues with your relationship.
Third
You have realised that you need help – you can’t manage your plate on your own anymore. That is the tricky bit, you want to ask for help. Whom can you ask? Are there friends, family members available? What can you say to them? When and how?
Asking for help sounds daunting, unfit and bottom of pecking order – or does it?
Most of us like to help others – pushing the car off the street, helping loading a heavy item in a cart, reach high up to hand something down – you know what I mean. People like to help, it makes them ‘feel good’ and both the helper and the asker feel better afterwards. So, why not use this great resource which is out there? What would you do if someone you know ask for your advice? Tells you about their situation? You wouldn’t send them away, would you?
Sometimes it is hard to have someone to talk to – as there
is no one around. As a sole trader, you don’t have many people around to talk
to – when you work on your own at the client’s place – you cannot really tell
your client about your mortgage; – so you keep it to yourself and keep on
going. Or you are working on a larger scale project, some other trades are
around. People you hardly know, well – you can go over to the sparky and talk
about your next DIY project, but not really about the health of your parents…
so, you continue on and bottle it up. In the evenings, you may have a partner
to talk to but how much can you really talk about work issues? Isn’t it now the
time to talk about family things? The kids’ school project, the house, the next
holiday? So where is your time to talk, when is your time to relax, when do you
have “Me-Time”?
Let’s check on that – when was the last time you had time
for yourself?
What did you do with that time? Another project in or around
your house? Or did you mow the lawn? Working on your car? Don’t get me wrong –
these things can be the right things for you to do, but sometimes you may want
to spend your time differently like going for a walk or even just sitting
somewhere and look into the void.
So, what can you do?
After you become aware of your own situation – raising the
awareness is often the first step. Talk to someone about your situation – don’t
bottle it up, it only becomes worse. Find professional help for specific
topics. You need to know that you are not alone, your situation is not unique
and there is help available. And additionally, to helping yourself, you may be
the help a mate needs from you. There is your opportunity to help someone out,
be a mate, listen to your mate, listen to your partner and listen to your kids.
Together you can make a change – even if it is a small change, it can start
something bigger and better.
Don’t Pile Your Plate!